Faith When Your Spouse has been Unfaithful is Challenged
When you first identify your spouse is having an affair, your faith can be challenged; BIG TIME. Little did we know, we would both find jewelry for another woman; same story, two different marriages.
Both were Christian families, good families, with great jobs, but they both crashed in one awful moment.
Panic – Questions – Fear- More Questions – Pain – Unbelievable Pain- Denial – Realization…
These are the realities of what is commonly referred to as “D-Day” for infidelity survivor groups. This is the point where a decision needs to be made. How do you respond when faced with a fork in the road?
God vs. World
How Big is Your Faith?
“Now, faith is confidence in what we hope for and
assurance about what we do not see.”Hebrews 11:1
Lynn’s story starts like this. “When I found an earring receipt in my husband’s suitcase for earrings that were not for me, my heart sank, and the once thought unimaginable began to become a possibility. I immediately phoned him and asked him about it, and the only thing he had to say was, ‘We will talk when I get home,’ in an unfamiliar tone.
That was not what I wanted to hear, and as I pushed and pushed for an answer, he finally said that he was going to ask for a divorce the following week.”
Okay… as horrifying as that is, let me tell you Christine’s story. “I found a receipt for not one, but two necklaces. Both were gold rope chains. One was 16 inches, and one was 18 inches, and both were coupled with a charm. The two charms were a dolphin and a music note.
I got the music note and only one necklace. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach as I grasped on to the carpet beneath my knees and screamed. My entire world had just begun to spin out of control and I had no way to stop it! He came home to talk with me and proceeded to tell me that he was in love with her and had never truly been in love with me.”
Breaking Down the Similarities
Now, let’s break these two stories down. Obviously, they are tales of jewelry. Ladies, it is so common. Two additional things I notice in common are the unfamiliar tone of the spouse and the apparent happiness of the families. I have heard these similarities time and time again. They all claim his voice and words were unfamiliar to all the years they had known and loved them.
Being caught up in lies can do that to you!
Both were seemingly happy families with no apparent issues. Disbelief and denial by both parties are evident here.
Questions race to the surface such as:
- What did I do wrong?
- What’s wrong with me?
- Why am I not enough?
- And… Where is the man I married?
Mistakes I Made
In retrospect, I see a couple mistakes I made…
- Forsaking all my dreams to follow him, I would do it all again. This time, I would be sure to keep more of ME! That is such an important lesson to learn, ladies!
- Agreeing to live in two different cities while he slowly moved his job to a new home was a huge mistake.
With a traveling spouse, extra precautions must be taken no matter how flawless your relationship seems going into it.
Conversations with God
The biggest take away from all this story sharing is the entire point of the chapter in the book entitled The Rose Garden and the Ring.
“What is happening? What am I supposed to do? This doesn’t seem real. How could you let this happen to me?” These are the conversations with God I was having.
No matter what you are currently facing or what has happened, God is there. Again, you must make an important decision. Are you going to follow God in the path He has chosen for you, or are you going to do what the world says for you to do and choose your own path?
Again, How Big is Your Faith?
When faced with these two options, what is your decision? Psalm 18:6 says, “In my distress, I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice, my cry came before him, into his ears.” He hears us!
What are the hurdles you face that faith can be applied to?
Remember that faith is confidence and assurance!
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws.”Psalm 119:105
A lamp and a light are the same things, right? Why did this verse mention both? A lamp shines right in front of your feet; it shows each step you should take. But a light illuminates what lies ahead.
Pray for guidance on what path you should take and follow it. God is there with you every step of the way, even in the hard conversations.