Amazon REVIEWS: Over the Years

Want to know what people are saying about The Rose Garden and the Ring with bonus Study Guide? 

Sure you do! Listen, the truth is that healing is a process and a long one at that. It seems almost endless at times. And if that is the way you feel, you are not wrong, nor are you alone. Just take a look at these Amazon Reviews: Over the Years.

That is why we published the third installment of the books: The Rose Garden and the Ring with bonus Study Guide. Lynn and Christine are in the ministry to care for those ravaged by adultery.

5.0 out of 5 Stars

By Cherity on April 13, 2018

A healing balm for the broken heart. Amazing insights to help a heart heal from any issue, not just the ones in the book. It was so well written, easy to read, and with great “light bulb” moments. I highly recommend the companion bible study. It was also easy to understand and leading questions that lead to insight to your own pain.

5.0 out of 5 stars

By MC on June 13, 2015

Excellent book written by women like me. Not famous authors or therapists etc. This book helped me more than the numerous books I’ve read by professionals. Loved reading the kids portion too. If you’re dealing with infidelity, then this book is a must-read.

5.0 out of 5 stars

Excellent reading, all the better because it’s Christ-based.

By Tom E on March 17, 2014

Maybe others can benefit from the pain these family’s felt. Without Christ, it must be even harder to cope. Amen

5.0 out of 5 stars

Great book! A must read.

By TP on December 4, 2013

Great book! Everyone that believes in God and struggles with faith should read this book. It is a 5-star rating for a reason.

5.0 out of 5 stars

This is a must-read for any woman who has suffered a husband’s betrayal.

By SC on November 23, 2013

Lynn & Christine have written in such clarity, honesty and compassion for the woman who is hurting from her husband’s adultery. Their insights on that “roller coaster of emotions,” knowing when it’s time to walk away, revenge, the kids of the families who suffer the most, and especially, the “anatomy of an adulteress”–they’ve not missed a single part of what happens when this kind of sin enters into a man’s life and how it can destroy families, sometimes for years to come.

I recommend this passionate work of the heart to any woman whose husband has chosen to stray from their covenant vows. It will shed light on why a husband may have made this choice. It will remind you of God’s promises to protect you, hold you up and lead your way. It WILL offer you a starting point in forgiving your husband, which is the most important step toward YOUR healing process.

A forewarning, though–you will not get through this book without a hefty amount of tissues. Don’t even expect to. The prayers Lynn & Christine lead you through are heart-wrenching, soul-cleansing and mind-altering — all for your good. This is a must-read for any woman who has suffered

Help! My Spouse Cheated

Where to Go for Immediate Assistance & Guidance After Discovering an Affair.

Hello friends! That is the most straightforward, cleanest, and most to the point I can put the topic of this article. Where to go for immediate assistance and guidance after discovering an affair was absolutely one of my first questions. Seriously though, HELP! Isn’t that what you were screaming somewhere deep inside upon learning of the affair in your relationship?

SO…. once you have stopped screaming and are up off the floor, most of us go to the computer, your phone, your BFF, your pastor, and even a lawyer (I said it, a lawyer) to get that much-needed advice.  I remember going to the local library and bookstores to see what knowledge I could soak in from others.

Lynn

In the book The Rose Garden and the Ring, p. 13, Lynn says, “Almost immediately after vowing to walk with God through my devastating situation, I felt like I needed to talk to a lawyer. My spouse said he wanted a divorce, and I did not know anything about lawyers, the divorce process, or the consequences of divorce. I did know it would benefit the children and me greatly to have my own lawyer instead of a joint one…whatever that meant.”

Christine

In my experience, I was not very on my game when discovering his affair. Let me tell you what I did… lol

Being transparent, the first thing I turned to was not the Bible. I grabbed a bottle of liquor and called my daddy. However, the next day I was at the throne of the Almighty pleading for my sanity, for my marriage, for my kids, and for my best friend. I am not ignorant in thinking that you can find out such a thing and say, “Hmmm, let me see what the Bible says about this.” You are human, cut yourself a break, and then get your priorities in order.

You will have days that are good and days that are very, very bad. It is perfectly normal.

I also sought advice from an attorney. My father knew one that could advise me on the stance I had taken and how to protect myself and the kids. That was a tough appointment to go to. He told me that my state was a “no-fault” state, and it did not matter in the eyes of the court whether or not he was committing adultery. That was a stab I was not expecting. He then told me that I was not eligible for alimony because we had only been married for six years; you had to have been married seven!

Upon further discussion, my father, the attorney, and I felt that a formal decree of separation was in order. The attorney drafted a document stating what the divorce papers would look like, but only in a separation. It was all very cold and legal, but it protected my kids and me from being left high and dry and secured my custody so the other woman could not take my kids from me. Again, I was not looking for a divorce, just some assurance, and that is just what I got. Just some assurance.

In reality, and in a perfect world, we would pray first, but again, cut yourself a break! Forgive yourself of any ugly thoughts, then pray!! He is the author of creation and salvation and knows your every need.

The Help

Help! He Cheated.

James 4:7 says, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you.”

That is precisely what you need about now! Once you have given all that you can for the time to the Lord, and you try your best not to sin in your anger and hurt, the Devil will flee from you!

Then, when that business is complete (which it never really is), you will probably receive advice from well-meaning friends and family.

Let’s get real for a moment… only someone who has been through exactly this can even begin to understand the level of betrayal that is felt by a faithful spouse. The self-doubt and self-deprecation start almost immediately, and all the stages of grief are gone through. But the spouse is not gone, so that wound is cut open again and again. Some days the pain is relentless, and other days you feel that righteous anger that almost empowers you. Depending on the day, or even the moment, you never know how you will be doing.

What is happening all around you does not have to make sense, and I am sure it makes no sense at all. Your emotions are all over the place, especially now. Don’t depend on your own personal interpretation of what is going on, simply trust God knows and hears.

Stop and take time to write out a list of “help actions” you can take in the coming days to help sort your thoughts. Be sure to toss bad ideas from well-meaning people and sources to the side.

And again, PRAY, friend, pray!

-Christine

A Special Covid-19 Message for Those Hurting from Adultery

Adultery Keeps Hurting Even if There is a Pandemic

Hello to all my friends out there hurting from adultery. You have one of the most life-altering and devastating events in your heart and your relationship. All you need is a global pandemic! Am I right?

But it is not funny because you are dealing with the fallout from adultery right now, and it feels like you are alone, I am sure. I want to emphasize; you are not alone!

Please feel free to contact me through the website or via email or message me through the Christine Talks podcast platform you listen to. I am sure you are not the only one with your specific question, and maybe I can share it with the other readers and listeners to help them out too!

My biggest concern and reason for writing this podcast is to validate you and your needs at this moment. Your situation is unique compare to the others struggling with Covid-19 restrictions. Here are some examples:

While the world is dealing with fear and worry about your health and the health of your loved ones…

You are dealing with fear and worry about the security of your marriage and possibly your kids, PLUS, their emotional wellbeing.

The world is struggling with changes in sleep or eating patterns…

If I had to guess, you are not sleeping or are sleeping much and the same with eating. We use our vices when the chips are stacked against us.

The world may have worsening health problems…

But are you healthy? Does it even matter?

People react differently but almost always at an extreme. Either you dive into an angry workout routine, or you schlep yourself over to the couch or on the bed and try not to let anyone make you get up.

And what about the world’s concern for pre-existing mental health conditions?…

While most of the time, you feel like a new category of mental health all on your own!

Then there is homeschooling the children. Now all-day Americans are doing virtual school with their kids all day…

Where attempting to focus on one subject at a time, much less having no quiet time to process the affair is “virtually” impossible.

The steps to take are much the same; you just have a whole lot more going on.

Self-care is a must during a crisis.

I cannot emphasize that enough. I posed a question on social media to my friends during this virus quarantine and asked them what ways they were practicing self-care.

Sadly, most of them had not even taken any time at all. That is just digging your self into a deeper hole! You must find a way to be important to yourself because you are to God!

Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories, including social media. Hearing about the pandemic repeatedly and about adultery constantly can be overwhelming.

  • Take care of your body.
  • Take deep breaths, stretch, or meditate.
  • Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals.
  • Exercise regularly and get plenty of sleep.
  • Avoid alcohol and drugs, even those like sleep aids that can be addictive.
  • Make time to unwind. Try to do some other activities or hobbies you enjoy.
  • Connect with others. Talk with people you trust about your concerns and how you feel, find a self-help group, or a podcast or a church group to join online for support.

These are just some ideas to get you thinking. I know they do not solve the problem. I wish you the best and will pray for you!

Take Care of you today and remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Bye for now,
-Christine

Walking with God

Walking directly beside God is right where we need to be at this particular time in our lives.

When you are walking with someone, you might be pleased to chit chat or possible hash over important topics, you may glance around and see the surrounding beauty, you may even notice scenery you have never noticed before. Often times when you are taking a walk with someone you are silent, enjoying the stroll and each other’s company. That is where I would like you to consider starting, and if it gets too difficult and you can’t bear to go on, remember He is there to pick you up and carry you whenever you ask.

Footprints in the Sand

In fact, as the poem about the footprints in the sand tells us, God has to reach over, pick us up and carry us. I know He has had to snatch me up more than a couple times! I am glad His back does not get worn out.

This is one of those skimmed over verse that you may have heard a million times over… but consider what it says with me one more time and in perspective to what we are experiencing with the affairs…

“Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust

First let me point out the word Trust. We will get into that in another chapter and podcast. But go a little further and see it says WITH ALL you heart. Not just some or a part.

That is a tall order considering our hearts are now so broken and guarded.

Stop where you are now, if you can and ask yourself, can you give your whole heart to God?  

Then let’s go on to the next part… lean not on your own understanding… that is kind of what you were probably just fighting with, in yourself. Your understanding of trusting anyone with your whole heart brings an angry brow or a little vomit to the throat! Gross!

But to give it all to the one who created you in the first place makes sense.

Remember being a tiny child, before the world began to jade you… that feeling of complete love and wholehearted trust is what God is asking for. That is even another reason Jesus asked us to become like children.

Okay… then it says in all your ways acknowledge Him… what is that? What’s with the strong words again… all! Well, he means it, so he is going to use a definitive.

Here it is to recognize him in all things… allow him into all things.

  • Did you get an A on a paper? That was God’s favor. Thank him.
  • Did you get a raise at work?
  • A good parking spot?
  • Have a good day?
  • Learn a valuable lesson? 

You get my drift. It matters not how simple or life changing the event is.

Praise the Lord! In all things.

Now it says he will make your path straight. Simply put, he will ease your journey. A trip to the mall will 2 or more kids may signal a rough day ahead. But pray, give Him the authority over the day and celebrate His hand in the good things that do happen at the mall.

Now, I went over that scripture so thoroughly for a reason. The last lesson dealt with your faith… Today is Walking with God.

Walking With God

Travel with me in your mind for a moment. Imagine a peaceful walk with the Lord, amidst all the turmoil in your life. If you ask Him to come alongside of you, He surely will. That is the first step to walking with God.

When I first talked to Him… wait, let me back up for a moment. If I am going to be honest with you, the first time I conversed with the Lord on a matter of distress I did not walk or even talk. I jumped, yelled, screamed, cried and had a righteous temper tantrum about my discovery.

That said, I suppose my peaceful walk would be the second time.

I began to pray like I had never prayed before. I spoke to Him while driving my car, taking a shower, preparing dinner, sweeping the floors; whatever I task I was attempting to carry out, I was constantly in prayer, walking with God. I prayed with a feverish desperation and I received concrete answers. Whether from the mouth of a good friend or from the nudges of the Holy Spirit, I received my answers.

Our Walk with God is different in each situation and in each day, but as long as we hold true to the points in Proverbs 3:5-6 that I mentioned earlier, our journey to healing will be directed by the Lord.

How do we go about walking with God when we can barely get out of bed some days?

Consider this story…

Let the Father Lead You

Picture a young child walking with her father. As a little one, she believes that
her daddy has her best interest at heart and is there to protect, lead, and guide
her. He reaches out and asks her to hold his hand. She happily takes his hand
and they cross the street safely, without a doubt that they will reach the other
side.

The Lord wants to lead us safely through our trials. He is reaching out his
hand, all we need to do is take it, trust, and walk with Him.

-Christine

Navigating the Books

The Rose Garden and the Ring: Faith in the Midst of Unfaithfulness

Faith in the Midst of Unfaithfulness: Study Guide

The Rose Garden andthe Ring with bonus Study Guide

Three books, all made for one dream… the vision of reaching others in pain to let them know they are NOT ALONE! This article will go over the two, made 3, books and give you an idea of how they can be used in your struggle.

These books were written with the consideration of those truly hurting and struggling to function on a day to day basis, like we both were. Simple and familiar would be a complimentary description for the structure of these books. Real, honest and raw, would be how one would describe it after reading the books. Take these review excerpts from readers:

“There are plenty of books out there about infidelity, but this is the first one I have read that allows for and voices the emotions one feels when going through this tragedy against families.”

“You can trust them. They are real. They are honest. You will breathe again, darkness will turn to The Light, and ashes will turn to beauty. Just take their hands and be open to a God of Miracles.”

They are only two of the reviews, and we hope you will add one more, not because we desire recognition, but because you were helped. This is our sincere prayer and the calling to which we answer.

Some topics we cover in the books are located on the back cover of the original study guide:

  • How big is your faith?
  • Daily walking with God through crisis.
  • Options for help.
  • How to deal with out of control feelings and thoughts.
  • Is the grass always greener?
  • Children and adversity.
  • Revenge and Forgiveness.
  • God’s Promises.
  • Time and Miracles.

On a personal note… these books were truly a labor of love written with all the emotion and raw, embarrassing content you will read. All this so you will know YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Located in the back of the book are “Cut and Paste Prayers”. These prayers are located at the end of each chapter, but also in removable form in the back of the book. This was suggested by one of our readers who felt they would help her if they were placed on her mirror, in her car, and on the fridge… you get the drift.

The Preface of the book is the introduction to the beginning of our journey as best friends and writing partners.

Join me next article as I dive into the beginning and reveal the start of a very difficult season in two families lives.

Thanks for you support, Christine

A Little More About Lynn and Christine

Why Write About Adultery?

Our story is a blessing to be able to share. ~Rose and Ring

Now, I know that sounds strange, considering the subject matter. Anything God calls you to is a blessing. Today, transparency is key and that is precisely what I aim to offer.

I am Christine of the author duo, Lynn & Christine. In this post, I would like to tell you a bit about us and our mission on our way to healing after infidelity.

I, Christine, am a wife, mother of 4 with 3 “in-laws” so far, and a Gigi to one perfect grandson. As a homemaker, vocalist, Christian, author, pod caster, blogger, writer, and co-owner of Rose and Ring, I keep myself happy and busy.

Lynn is a mother of two; one college student and one college graduate. She is also an author, Christian, co-owner of Rose and Ring, former Air Force Captain, and is now working as an executive for a medical academy.

Together, we have published 3 books and have a fourth in production. They are as follows:

The Rose Garden and the Ring with Bonus Study Guide

The Rose Garden and the Ring

Faith in the Midst: Study Guide

Rose and Ring

As two moms living on the same street with kids similar in ages, Lynn and I couldn’t be more opposite. I am sure that is the reason we work so well together. Lynn is one side of the brain, and I am the other. She is logic, and I am “flower” (that is what she calls my writing style… and I guess it works!)

Going about our average lives, we never would have guessed the internal struggles we were both facing… until the Lord decided we needed one another.

*side note: How awesome is God? He takes what seems impossible and gives us a way. You may not be feeling that sentiment at this point in your life, and that is okay!

You can just trust me for now.

Lynn and I were placed together in the craziest way to help one another through the affairs our spouses had and would again be involved in. Our goal in writing the books and in ministry is to let the faithful partners of the world know they are NOT ALONE!

It can be a lonely place when the d-day news hits you. I want to help get it in your head you are not going crazy, you are not in this alone, and God continues to sit on His throne.

I hope you will join me in this revealing blog as we review the books, discuss difficult topics, answer readers questions, and find our way to a stronger faith in Jesus.

Bye for now,

Christine

How Big is Your Faith?

Faith When Your Spouse has been Unfaithful is Challenged

When you first identify your spouse is having an affair, your faith can be challenged; BIG TIME. Little did we know, we would both find jewelry for another woman; same story, two different marriages. 

Both were Christian families, good families, with great jobs, but they both crashed in one awful moment. 

Panic – Questions – Fear- More Questions – Pain – Unbelievable Pain- Denial – Realization… 

These are the realities of what is commonly referred to as “D-Day” for infidelity survivor groups. This is the point where a decision needs to be made. How do you respond when faced with a fork in the road? 

God vs. World

How Big is Your Faith?

“Now, faith is confidence in what we hope for and

assurance about what we do not see.” 

Hebrews 11:1

Lynn’s story starts like this. “When I found an earring receipt in my husband’s suitcase for earrings that were not for me, my heart sank, and the once thought unimaginable began to become a possibility. I immediately phoned him and asked him about it, and the only thing he had to say was, ‘We will talk when I get home,’ in an unfamiliar tone.

That was not what I wanted to hear, and as I pushed and pushed for an answer, he finally said that he was going to ask for a divorce the following week.” 

Okay… as horrifying as that is, let me tell you Christine’s story. “I found a receipt for not one, but two necklaces. Both were gold rope chains. One was 16 inches, and one was 18 inches, and both were coupled with a charm. The two charms were a dolphin and a music note.

I got the music note and only one necklace. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach as I grasped on to the carpet beneath my knees and screamed. My entire world had just begun to spin out of control and I had no way to stop it! He came home to talk with me and proceeded to tell me that he was in love with her and had never truly been in love with me.”

Breaking Down the Similarities

Now, let’s break these two stories down. Obviously, they are tales of jewelry. Ladies, it is so common. Two additional things I notice in common are the unfamiliar tone of the spouse and the apparent happiness of the families. I have heard these similarities time and time again. They all claim his voice and words were unfamiliar to all the years they had known and loved them. 

Being caught up in lies can do that to you! 

Both were seemingly happy families with no apparent issues. Disbelief and denial by both parties are evident here. 

Questions race to the surface such as:

  • What did I do wrong?
  • What’s wrong with me? 
  • Why am I not enough?
  • And… Where is the man I married?

Mistakes I Made

In retrospect, I see a couple mistakes I made…

  1. Forsaking all my dreams to follow him, I would do it all again. This time, I would be sure to keep more of ME! That is such an important lesson to learn, ladies!
  2. Agreeing to live in two different cities while he slowly moved his job to a new home was a huge mistake. 

With a traveling spouse, extra precautions must be taken no matter how flawless your relationship seems going into it. 

Conversations with God

The biggest take away from all this story sharing is the entire point of the chapter in the book entitled The Rose Garden and the Ring. 

“What is happening? What am I supposed to do? This doesn’t seem real. How could you let this happen to me?” These are the conversations with God I was having.

No matter what you are currently facing or what has happened, God is there. Again, you must make an important decision. Are you going to follow God in the path He has chosen for you, or are you going to do what the world says for you to do and choose your own path?

Again, How Big is Your Faith?

When faced with these two options, what is your decision? Psalm 18:6 says, “In my distress, I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice, my cry came before him, into his ears.” He hears us! 

What are the hurdles you face that faith can be applied to? 

Remember that faith is confidence and assurance!

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws.” 

Psalm 119:105

A lamp and a light are the same things, right? Why did this verse mention both? A lamp shines right in front of your feet; it shows each step you should take. But a light illuminates what lies ahead. 

Pray for guidance on what path you should take and follow it. God is there with you every step of the way, even in the hard conversations.

-Christine